Adjusting

Didn't buy the cookie mix because Mom's sending stuff down and there's gluten-free flour in the pile she's sending, along with a newish backpack.

I'm managing all right; chowing down on fruit and veggies more than I ever have in my life. I have fallen in love with figs. I had fajitas tonight and despite not really having a clue what I was doing and having no real recipe, I still managed to pull it off. Not so hard. Might do it for breakfast. I can have corn tortillas and I'm using them for EVERYTHING, including for peanut butter cravings.

I also bought chicken and fish. I figure the huge amount I bought will last weeks, possibly even a month or two.

Oh, and a stirfry may be imminent. I have a lot of veggies.

I figured out that throwing globs of hummus into a salad makes the whole thing palatable without dressing. Au revoir, ranch dip and bleu cheese dressing. There's a new kid in town.

I also made a lentil/rice mix with veggies in it tonight. I'll be eating that at work for the next couple of days. If I can keep from being hungry, the vending machine won't look so attractive.

And JOY OF JOYS! I can have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!

(does stupid dance of glee)

As you can see, I am adjusting. Not happily. But I'm adjusting.

I'm tired and I'm headed to bed.

Ta,
Bec

Spiel coming. Run away, all of you...


PS: By the way, after a week spent apart because of the chauvinist pig crap he pulled last Wednesday (pummeling on my door and shouting at me to come out and talk to him about, of all things, an Elton John performance on TV the next morning when I was already dressed for bed and talking to my mother before I crashed,) my friend from downstairs STILL thinks that this woman is incapable of handling her own life. He was SURPRISED that I managed. Clearly, this person is underestimating me by a ton. I've gritted my teeth and hung on even when it was inadvisable-do you REALLY think I can't cope for a week without you?

Clearly this person seems to think that the poor, weak, pathetic little female upstairs can't fucking manage without male assistance for a week. Maybe I should go climb back in my flower and wait for Prince Charming to rescue me on his stupid white horse and stick me in a castle with an attached dragon.

Yeah. Not going to happen. Ever.

Guess what, person who thinks I can't handle anything on my own? I managed to haul a laundry basket full of wet clothes home (without help), managed to get to both libraries that I currently work at (again, WITHOUT help), and went food shopping twice (amazingly, without someone yammering in my ear about how this one was better, cheaper, prettier colored or what the hell ever.) I also set up a whole doctor's appointment that you had no idea about AND I'm dealing with digestive issues, ALL ON MY VERY OWN.

Am I not wonderful?

I've actually had a really good week and don't care to have it mussed up, so we're going to spend a little more time apart until he realizes I am very capable and will handle my own life JUST fine.

And if he doesn't realize it, then I guess we're through as friends. I have dealt with three different diseases, two surgeries plus one cast, a math/spatial disability, Asperger's, the suicide of a friend, two grandmothers who believed I wasn't capable of what I HAVE pulled off thus far, and a host of relatives who believe that my family is worth nothing more than the dirt on their shoes.

And you know what? In five months, it won't matter what anyone says. I'll be holding that diploma and NO ONE will take that away from me. I have and I am working my tail off to see that that happens, and nothing is going to stop me. If I have to phone in from Argentina, I will get it. If they beam me up to the mothership, I'll demand to come down and get it. If I die, I'll be there as a GHOST to get my damn degree. I will walk across that stage if both legs and arms are missing and they have to TUCK it in my MOUTH because I have no HANDS.

I have worked too hard and too long to have one person treat me like crap when I really don't have time for it. I won't have it. I'm an accomplished, educated, smart woman and I don't like being treated like I should be on my knees begging for help from a man. Forget it, buster. Go get the plank out of your own eye before you come after the splinter in mine.

I'm Under Orders

I went to Student Health hoping for assistance in my GI problems.

And now it's official: Gluten AND lactose are off the menu until we can figure out why I'm reacting so badly to them.

This means any of the stuff that's in my cupboard that has gluten and/or lactose in it has to be given away or thrown away pronto.

Sigh.

I'm going to Walmart tomorrow and getting some GF cookie mix because I'm dying for a batch of cookies.

That's all from me. Mondays are crazy busy things. Good thing the next one is the 4th.

Ta,
Bec

Salad! Curry!

Everything's been going all right. I'm spending a lot of time tired these days and now I'm going to complain about my stupid bloody diet problems because they are STILL happening.

So if you don't want to hear my whining, get out of the way.



My Complaint.

I am so sick of eating salad and curry. All week it's been curry with salad, salad with curry, curry, salad. A banana. Then back to curry again.

Granted these are curries I have made with quinoa, and/or lentils and rice, and I tried to make them interesting. But three days of curry cannot make it interesting. It can only make it tiring and make me long for the days when I could have a chocolate chip cookie with milk without suffering consequences.

I want a bagel. With cream cheese. Maybe one of those sesame seed ones from Parker and Otis.

But I can't, because my stomach STILL doesn't like anything with gluten or lactose, and lucky me, that sesame seed bagel is a double no-no.

I also can't have any processed foods, any bread, cake, pie, pasta, cookies...

I can have fruits, veggies, any kind of meat I want, potatoes, quinoa, lentils, rice, and any combination of all of these things.

I need some serious variety here or I'll be swallowing pizzas whole by the end of next week.

I've been doing okay gluten free. I did make a few mistakes this week. I slipped up and bought a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup before I really thought about it. I wolfed down two brat buns with peanut butter on them and barely considered what I had stuffed in my face. In both cases, I had behaved well beforehand and I guess lost the ability to hold out.

I hope once things slow down around here that my stomach will start handling regular food again and I won't get this stupid reaction EVERY time I eat a piece of bread.

There. Complaint over.

I start class not this week, but the next, so that'll be a nice change. I still haven't gotten my school check yet and so I haven't bought my books. When they send it, I will spend it on the books I should have been able to buy a month ago. If they had just sent the stupid check.

Gosh, I'm whiny.

My MP3 player is gorgeous and wonderful and I already sang its praises once and you probably don't want to hear it again.

Sigh.

That's about it from me. They happen to have the Edward Norton version of Hulk on and I am watching it.

Ta,
Bec

It's Here!

My new player was waiting for me last night when I got home from work. After some initial issues with the battery (wasn't sure if it was charging or not) I am declaring this a win all round.

May I remind you, this model of player costs 100 bucks retail. I paid 55. Score!

I also got a nice hard plastic case to protect it, and while I wasn't sure it would fit my particular player, I snapped her on last night and now I refuse to ever take it off again. Why would I? It fits perfectly and it's keeping me from damaging the player itself. That cost me another 9, but in the long run, I'll be grateful I spent the extra.

The audio coming out of this thing is incredible. I may never take the headphones off.

I could have lived without one, but with how much time I spend on the bus these days it's stupid to try to coexist without one, especially when one is trying to concentrate on something important and some large woman is behind me having a really loud conversation on her cell phone that apparently the WHOLE BUS NEEDS TO HEAR. Or the guy in the seat in front of me thinks that everyone needs to know his take on international politics, including the poor sucker from Tunisia who looks like he wants to leap out the bus window and go back home.

I'm so glad I spent the time to do the research and get what I really wanted this time, and I'm also glad I could get a like new used player that was still in the case and was down to HALF-PRICE! HA!

Now excuse me, I am going off to have a fiery series of eargasms.

Ta,
Bec

New Player Coming Soon!

Bought a new MP3 player. It's a Sony Walkman in a garish, loud red color. I paid 55 for the player itself and about 10 more for a hard case. Looks good to me. Let's hope this one lasts like the last one. Should be here on Thursday; I don't usually like buying my player over the Internet but desperation drove me onward.

I'm starving and I think I will go scavenge in the kitchen for something to eat. Probably salad again.

I am very tired tonight and I'm going to rest no matter what anyone else says.

Ta,
Bec

600TH POST!

I was very busy this last week and had no time to write you all, but I have a couple of hours so here I am.

Yes, this is post 600. I swear when I get to 1,000, there is going to be cake, and lots of it.

Meanwhile, it's Monday, which means crazy in my world at the moment. Get a load of my schedule for TODAY:

8 Out the door to the public library (that means walking a mile and a half)
8:30 Arrive at public library
12 Done at public library
12:00-12:05 Rubbing sunblock on my stupid European skin so I don't burn like I did earlier this summer.
12-12:20 Walking to the bus station ('nother 3/4 of a mile)
12:30 On bus
12:45 NCCU
1:00 Eat something I had with me all along
Sometime between 1 and 2: Get the sunblock washed off my face because it blocks my pores and gives me zits.
2:00 Meeting
2:10 Meeting over
2:10-5:00 TIME OFF? El gaspeth!
5:00-9:00 Work at SLIS, eat sometime in here
9:15 Catch the bus
10:10 Home again
10:10-10:30 Prep for tomorrow morning
10:30 Into bed because tomorrow we start over at the same time!

For those who thought summers were time off, guess again. I'm working harder than I did in spring and probably will in fall. August cannot arrive fast enough.

Meanwhile, I need a new backpack (my old one is tearing away across the top pocket), a new MP3 player (the current one has gone missing and is presumed stolen), new sunglasses (accidentally snapped mine in half), and if I keep going at this pace, new shoes.

Don't you just LOVE it when all your old stuff goes at the same time?

Yeah, so do I.

I think I'm done whining. Cue the balloons! Streamers! Wish I could have cake but my stomach's been acting freaky lately! YAY!

Ta,
Bec

Worn Out

Sorry about the lack of writing. I'm either running around town at full tilt or laying on the couch these days. When I'm not going, I'm so tired that I can't do anything else.

My fibro has been reminding me of my limitations as of late. It could be because I'm walking a mile and a half to volunteer at the public library, and then going another mile to the transfer station to catch a bus. I've had three baths in the last two days just trying to get my muscles feeling better because my back has been phenomenally sore since this all started.

I was going to do this every day of the week in July, but I think I'm going to stick to three.

Meanwhile, found out yesterday that Merlin's coming back two to THREE months earlier than expected. I assume when Who's over for the year we'll get our Merlin back where he belongs, and with thirteen episodes. I applaud the decision and whoever made it because A) A shortage of Merlin is no good for anyone B) A delay of Merlin is also not good for anyone.

I have to go call Mum like I promised, so talk to you soon.

Ta,
Bec

PS: The next post will be 600. There will be cake.

Going Six Days This Week

Cleaned today. Figured if the rest of the week is going to be as long as last week (and it's shaping up to be) then I'd better get everything set so that I could run in and out all week at top speed without worrying about the state of my countertops.

Tomorrow will probably be the worst of it, but I don't really get a day "off" until Sunday of next week. Saturday is blown this week because the public library I volunteer at is starting their summer reading schedule with a huge party and I have to help out because I promised.

I'll probably go food shopping next Sunday early because that might be when I get time for it, unless I actually get time on Tuesday (cue heaps of laughter.)

I'm going to take things a day at a time and we'll see how it goes. Let's hope I get some unexpected breaks in the middle of it all.

Ta,
Bec

Rough Week, But I Have Chain Reaction!

This week has been busy. Tomorrow I get a bit of time off.

But today ended with an accomplishment, at least: I found the damned game my sister and I have been searching for for YEARS.

We couldn't quite remember the name, but I knew that if I ever saw it again I would know that it was the one (the color scheme was unique in that there wasn't much of it.) Tonight I was just trying to narrow down the amount of games with the name I thought the game carried.

So I went and looked up pictures under the name, thinking it might pop up...

And there it was. Right in front of me. Chain Reaction. If a picture's worth a thousand words, the picture I saw of this game was worth all the hours I put in trying to find anything relating to it. I did Google searches for months looking for this thing. I'm still in shock.

The reason why we had so darn much difficulty finding it was because it apparently was either so old that it's gone freeware or the guy who created it was messing around and just gave it away. It was never sold to a company, which is why when I searched the Popcap website I came up empty.

It's freeware, so here's a link to it for anyone who wants to give it a try. it's not an easy game, which is why my sister loved it so much (and kicked my ass at it, if truth be told.)

http://games.softpedia.com/get/Freeware-Games/Chain-Reaction-by-Richard-Gonzalez.shtml

Before I got off the phone with my mother the kid had this thing downloaded and was already screaming through level 2. I have yet to conquer level 1. Again.

I'll play more tomorrow. I think I'm gonna crash.

Ta,
Bec

Away With Gluten?

My fridge is looking particularly bare these days. I'm nearly out of cash again and I'm waiting on a helpful check from my bank account up north.

However, thanks to the major cleanout my food reserves seem to be going through, I have decided to take a radical step and go gluten free for a few days.

I know better than anyone, since I live with it everyday, how much of a pain in the mikta my gastrointestinal system is. It doesn't like stress. It doesn't like milk. It doesn't like it when I eat too much. It doesn't like anything I eat and prefers to throw up the angry flag every time I dare to try.

I know the fibro is partially to blame for my ridiculous levels of sensitivity. Heavy stress not only makes my back ache, it also gives me heartburn with anything I eat for the next day or so (including OATMEAL. Who the HELL ever heard of getting heartburn from OATMEAL?)I also cough uncontrollably when I've been under stress, like the acid is boiling up in my esophagus.

My problems aren't bad; they're just annoying. I'm fairly careful about what I eat (okay, a few sins here and there) and I try to not upset the tippy balance I always seem to be on.

But I worry sometimes, because my mom has big problems with hers and I can see myself becoming the same if I continue down the path I'm on. One bout of heartburn every few days doesn't seem like much...but 25 years of it could give me acid reflux.

Well, I want to try something different and see if my issues improve. I want to see if I can come off better from what my mother has gone through. If it does, I suppose I'll go permanently gluten-free next year when I'm settled into a job with a salary that can support me. For the time being, I suppose I would cut down on the things I do eat that have gluten in them.

It's worth a shot. I'm so tired of my stomach rebelling every time I eat something.

Ta,
Bec

Cliffhanging For the Next Three Months

Doctor Who analysis. If you haven't seen it, please don't look.













SPOILER LINE






1. River is Amy and Rory's. She's apparently half Time-Lord and half-human, though why the Doctor didn't detect the half Time-Lord bit in River before is beyond me. Maybe the human bit shorts it out a little.

It explains how she can read Gallifreyan (built in somewhere in the DNA, I would assume) and how she can fly a TARDIS (Doctor would want his little half-Time Lord friend/mate/girlfriend/lover/companion's kid to know which buttons are which.)

2. Shagging in the TARDIS while riding in the vortex is a bad idea, as it makes future children a bit of a liability. There'd be a manual on this but the Doctor threw it into a supernova because he disagreed with it.

3. This wasn't that much of a cliffhanger, seeing as we got all the lovely reveals and we know he's going to pick the kid up and bring her home to Mummy and Daddy. Hopefully if he rescues her the man will hijack his own death in some way.

4. We still don't know who River kills, although NOW it could be Rory because he's her father.

5. I am sick of the amount of goop-people and goop-babies. It's already an overused plot device.

6. And we still have no idea who the voice in the TARDIS was last year, although that could be cleared up in September.


That's it! The Doctor has risen to the point of telling people who he is and having them run away in fear. River doesn't like it because it gives him a little too much power, therefore he has to be brought down a few notches. Hence the fall.

I'll pick up again with reviews in September when the show comes back around. I will update this page with theory stuff when my brain is working again; it's very late here and I'm going to bed before my head explodes.

Ta,
Bec

PS: This morning, I went back and found all my River notes. This was the stuff that was (mostly) right out of all that drivel...

The kid is either River or it's Amy's child and I haven't decided which. Probably not River. Awfully young for regeneration, eh? (I was right on both counts and then wronged myself, but the first one counts. Score!)

I also said she didn't give a fig for Rory. (Guess I was wrong). Lots of smart people have decided that River's gun is aimed at Rory now, since he just won "Best Man of the Year" award for being her papa and never ceasing to find her and her mother no matter what.

I do NOT believe she is Time Lord in any portion (as he would have figured that out already...) Um, oops.

The only way for him to put his life back together will be River. (Ho, was I right here. She's the whole reason he's off on the TARDIS alone chasing after Madame Kovarian.)

I am tentatively assuming that the baby in the photos, the child in the spacesuit, and the little girl who regenerates are all the same child, making the kid Amy's, and if the prequel bit I saw was to be believed, we know who Daddy is as well. (Yes, the kid in the photos, the kid in the spacesuit, and the kid who regenerates are all the same child. The kid is Amy's. The kid is River. I got it wrong on Daddy, though. Oh, well.)

Here's a theory for September's stuff:

The man whose voice we heard last year is behind the entire thing, I assume, because Madame Kovarian is not running things here. She's merely a pawn. Someone who knows the Doctor inside out and backwards and clearly wants him neutralized would be my guess, and that could be one of a million people.

We won't be seeing who that man is and why he wants the Doctor dead so badly for a few episodes yet, since I assume he was the one who built the Pandorica and who stole baby Melody/River from her parents and set the Doctor off to find the infant that will become his future wife.

Let's Kill Hitler!

1st Day of Volunteering

Today was my first day as a volunteer at the local public library. It went well; I was called a tarantula and Mrs. Robin Hood and was told I should have a baby.

I'm doing this for independent study-I'm actually earning credit for sitting there and cutting out paper baseballs. I promised to write a paper at the end of the summer on everything I've learned. I'm doing something productive and learning how to work in a public library because I actually never have, volunteer or otherwise.

Not much else going on; I'm going to take a large portion of tomorrow off. I am deep in mental preparation for the cliffhanger that's coming, not that any of my predictions and theories on everything are going to do me one bit of good.

Ta,
Bec

Thursday, Thursday

Not much going on with me. I start my volunteer thing tomorrow and tonight we're moving bound serials across the shelves.

It's hot outside and I'm so glad for air conditioning. It was 95 yesterday and about that today.

The rodent roundup is up to 40. I said when they get to fifty they ought to have cheesecake. I'm thinking of sending a gag gift.

There's pretty much no one in the library at this time. I and Tricia are talking to the Dean.

About time for tea and lentil masala.

Ta,
Bec

Wants Peace and Quiet For Once

So last night, I locked my door and turned my phone off so I could have a little peace and quiet. I put a message up on my Facebook wall that I was not to be disturbed.

But Don, who seems to have an issue with reading, came by my door twice and knocked. He also called me twice.

He hasn't really gotten the message yet. One or two more days away should help it sink in. When I ask for space, I want him to go away and not bother me.

I enjoyed a (fairly) quiet night at home that didn't cost me an arm and a leg, didn't see my intelligence insulted again just because I wouldn't give him what he wanted, and didn't see anyone lose their temper or ANYTHING. Nobody even mooched a meal off me.

It was nice. I'm going to do it again today, but THIS time I'm posting a large and friendly note on the door telling anyone and everyone to bugger off.

Ta,
Bec