Adjusting

Didn't buy the cookie mix because Mom's sending stuff down and there's gluten-free flour in the pile she's sending, along with a newish backpack.

I'm managing all right; chowing down on fruit and veggies more than I ever have in my life. I have fallen in love with figs. I had fajitas tonight and despite not really having a clue what I was doing and having no real recipe, I still managed to pull it off. Not so hard. Might do it for breakfast. I can have corn tortillas and I'm using them for EVERYTHING, including for peanut butter cravings.

I also bought chicken and fish. I figure the huge amount I bought will last weeks, possibly even a month or two.

Oh, and a stirfry may be imminent. I have a lot of veggies.

I figured out that throwing globs of hummus into a salad makes the whole thing palatable without dressing. Au revoir, ranch dip and bleu cheese dressing. There's a new kid in town.

I also made a lentil/rice mix with veggies in it tonight. I'll be eating that at work for the next couple of days. If I can keep from being hungry, the vending machine won't look so attractive.

And JOY OF JOYS! I can have Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!

(does stupid dance of glee)

As you can see, I am adjusting. Not happily. But I'm adjusting.

I'm tired and I'm headed to bed.

Ta,
Bec

Spiel coming. Run away, all of you...


PS: By the way, after a week spent apart because of the chauvinist pig crap he pulled last Wednesday (pummeling on my door and shouting at me to come out and talk to him about, of all things, an Elton John performance on TV the next morning when I was already dressed for bed and talking to my mother before I crashed,) my friend from downstairs STILL thinks that this woman is incapable of handling her own life. He was SURPRISED that I managed. Clearly, this person is underestimating me by a ton. I've gritted my teeth and hung on even when it was inadvisable-do you REALLY think I can't cope for a week without you?

Clearly this person seems to think that the poor, weak, pathetic little female upstairs can't fucking manage without male assistance for a week. Maybe I should go climb back in my flower and wait for Prince Charming to rescue me on his stupid white horse and stick me in a castle with an attached dragon.

Yeah. Not going to happen. Ever.

Guess what, person who thinks I can't handle anything on my own? I managed to haul a laundry basket full of wet clothes home (without help), managed to get to both libraries that I currently work at (again, WITHOUT help), and went food shopping twice (amazingly, without someone yammering in my ear about how this one was better, cheaper, prettier colored or what the hell ever.) I also set up a whole doctor's appointment that you had no idea about AND I'm dealing with digestive issues, ALL ON MY VERY OWN.

Am I not wonderful?

I've actually had a really good week and don't care to have it mussed up, so we're going to spend a little more time apart until he realizes I am very capable and will handle my own life JUST fine.

And if he doesn't realize it, then I guess we're through as friends. I have dealt with three different diseases, two surgeries plus one cast, a math/spatial disability, Asperger's, the suicide of a friend, two grandmothers who believed I wasn't capable of what I HAVE pulled off thus far, and a host of relatives who believe that my family is worth nothing more than the dirt on their shoes.

And you know what? In five months, it won't matter what anyone says. I'll be holding that diploma and NO ONE will take that away from me. I have and I am working my tail off to see that that happens, and nothing is going to stop me. If I have to phone in from Argentina, I will get it. If they beam me up to the mothership, I'll demand to come down and get it. If I die, I'll be there as a GHOST to get my damn degree. I will walk across that stage if both legs and arms are missing and they have to TUCK it in my MOUTH because I have no HANDS.

I have worked too hard and too long to have one person treat me like crap when I really don't have time for it. I won't have it. I'm an accomplished, educated, smart woman and I don't like being treated like I should be on my knees begging for help from a man. Forget it, buster. Go get the plank out of your own eye before you come after the splinter in mine.