I won three awards at the Honors Banquet the other night.
I own a copy of Muse's Origin of Symmetry.
And I also own a copy of Snow Patrol's A Hundred Million Suns.
Graduating in 19 days if my brain stops shorting out at odd intervals.
Ta,
Bec
27.4.09
25.4.09
Can't Say Anything Yet
Though tonight was an...interesting night in the life of yours truly, I unfortunately can say NOTHING about it until tomorrow. After my parents know about it, I will tell you all of everything.
Today was a better day. My back still hurts and my hand is still freezing up at the most inopportune moments, but if I avoid a lot of heavy slicing and cutting when we go out to eat tomorrow (that means no steak, no pork chops, and no chicken) I should be fine. I don't want Mom to have to slice things up for me again tomorrow-it's embarrassing.
Will confess all when my parents know. It's not that amazing, but I really want to tell them first.
Ta,
Bec
Today was a better day. My back still hurts and my hand is still freezing up at the most inopportune moments, but if I avoid a lot of heavy slicing and cutting when we go out to eat tomorrow (that means no steak, no pork chops, and no chicken) I should be fine. I don't want Mom to have to slice things up for me again tomorrow-it's embarrassing.
Will confess all when my parents know. It's not that amazing, but I really want to tell them first.
Ta,
Bec
24.4.09
Bad Day Today
My 23rd birthday was terribly quiet. Mum and Dad are coming down on Sunday to see me and to drop off a few things-including a bottle of ibuprofen.
I have had few days as bad as this one, at least starting out. Luckily most days my pains start out little and are little, enough that I don't need constant pills to survive them.
I'm having a bad phase of something right now, and whether it be the fibro or the arthritis I don't really care when I'm moving at a snail's pace and waiting for the ibuprofen to let me move without wincing.
Today was one of THOSE days. Those days that remind me of how hard a balance I strike between being fragile in body but tough everywhere else. Today reminded me how darn hard it is to keep going when all I wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position and cry.
I wanted to take a Vicodin or an Oxycontin (left over from the wrist surgery) but knowing how dizzy it makes me for days after I was reluctant. Save that stuff for when I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. So I stuck with Tylenol and ibuprofen and hoped it would end soon.
What has me in knots is the pain in my fingers these days. That pain. The arthritis pain. The fibro may be busy giving me a round or two, but it's the cramping, stiffening pain in my right hand (and some in my left a bit, too) that's really freaking me out.
I can deal with arthritis, I can deal with fibro. But please, whatever deity is having their jollies with me this week, do not expect me to try to live with both of them at the same time. I think my brain will collapse underneath all of it. Or my body. Possibly both.
Thankfully, my muscle pain eased up enough today (at 2 in the afternoon) to let me do some things I needed to do off-campus. I gritted my teeth when the pains shot up my knees and I gritted them some more when my back started aching and then I practically ground them to powder when my right hand started joining in the chorus.
Hopefully tomorrow I wake up with less pain than I did today.
By the way, I told Kate last night that it was probably going to rain in the next 36 hours, due to how much pain I was in. It rained tonight, less than 24 hours later. I should give up this creative writing thing (I say this three weeks before graduation) and go into meteorology. Or maybe just be a weather psychic.
This has to get better eventually. It has to. I just have to stop whining all the time and start being all hopeful and optimistic.
Ta,
Bec
I have had few days as bad as this one, at least starting out. Luckily most days my pains start out little and are little, enough that I don't need constant pills to survive them.
I'm having a bad phase of something right now, and whether it be the fibro or the arthritis I don't really care when I'm moving at a snail's pace and waiting for the ibuprofen to let me move without wincing.
Today was one of THOSE days. Those days that remind me of how hard a balance I strike between being fragile in body but tough everywhere else. Today reminded me how darn hard it is to keep going when all I wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position and cry.
I wanted to take a Vicodin or an Oxycontin (left over from the wrist surgery) but knowing how dizzy it makes me for days after I was reluctant. Save that stuff for when I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. So I stuck with Tylenol and ibuprofen and hoped it would end soon.
What has me in knots is the pain in my fingers these days. That pain. The arthritis pain. The fibro may be busy giving me a round or two, but it's the cramping, stiffening pain in my right hand (and some in my left a bit, too) that's really freaking me out.
I can deal with arthritis, I can deal with fibro. But please, whatever deity is having their jollies with me this week, do not expect me to try to live with both of them at the same time. I think my brain will collapse underneath all of it. Or my body. Possibly both.
Thankfully, my muscle pain eased up enough today (at 2 in the afternoon) to let me do some things I needed to do off-campus. I gritted my teeth when the pains shot up my knees and I gritted them some more when my back started aching and then I practically ground them to powder when my right hand started joining in the chorus.
Hopefully tomorrow I wake up with less pain than I did today.
By the way, I told Kate last night that it was probably going to rain in the next 36 hours, due to how much pain I was in. It rained tonight, less than 24 hours later. I should give up this creative writing thing (I say this three weeks before graduation) and go into meteorology. Or maybe just be a weather psychic.
This has to get better eventually. It has to. I just have to stop whining all the time and start being all hopeful and optimistic.
Ta,
Bec
16.4.09
About To Be Taken Apart By An Expert
So, physical therapy for my left wrist tomorrow. I don't think I need much; the darn thing's working just fine.
BUT I won't be cancelling because there are about five people waiting for me to ask about "the shoulder from hell" and they won't take no for an answer.
The thing's bitchy. I'm tired. I'm off to bed.
Ta,
Bec
BUT I won't be cancelling because there are about five people waiting for me to ask about "the shoulder from hell" and they won't take no for an answer.
The thing's bitchy. I'm tired. I'm off to bed.
Ta,
Bec
13.4.09
Still Miserable
While I wait for my high dose of ibuprofen to let me sleep tonight, I'll update you on Easter and my shoulder.
My shoulder got better over the weekend, probably in due part to the fact that I was under a lot less stress than usual. Easter was fine; I have to exchange my gift because I already have one of them, but I'll just get the second instead of the fourth one and everything will be fine.
And then I got back here...and the darn thing got worse. I can't lie on the shoulder or lie off the shoulder without it complaining, bitching, whining...you name it, it's doing it.
I'm typing this with my hair standing on end and no glasses on (can barely see this stupid screen) and am wishing I could lie down without having to move every fifteen seconds.
I'm frustrated, I'm tired, and I don't see my rheumatologist for a month. Hallelujah, I'm in hell.
Sorry about the whining. I tend to do that when body parts start trying to send signals I don't particularly want to hear. I could drown this with heavier stuff-I still have Vicodin and Oxycontin from arm surgery-but unless I want to be woozy and nauseous all DAY tomorrow I think I should hold off. Besides, I took four ibuprofen. They'd better work soon.
I'm going to go lay down again. Hopefully I'll be able to stay there.
Ta,
Bec
My shoulder got better over the weekend, probably in due part to the fact that I was under a lot less stress than usual. Easter was fine; I have to exchange my gift because I already have one of them, but I'll just get the second instead of the fourth one and everything will be fine.
And then I got back here...and the darn thing got worse. I can't lie on the shoulder or lie off the shoulder without it complaining, bitching, whining...you name it, it's doing it.
I'm typing this with my hair standing on end and no glasses on (can barely see this stupid screen) and am wishing I could lie down without having to move every fifteen seconds.
I'm frustrated, I'm tired, and I don't see my rheumatologist for a month. Hallelujah, I'm in hell.
Sorry about the whining. I tend to do that when body parts start trying to send signals I don't particularly want to hear. I could drown this with heavier stuff-I still have Vicodin and Oxycontin from arm surgery-but unless I want to be woozy and nauseous all DAY tomorrow I think I should hold off. Besides, I took four ibuprofen. They'd better work soon.
I'm going to go lay down again. Hopefully I'll be able to stay there.
Ta,
Bec
7.4.09
A Little Freaked
So, my right shoulder is doing the Anarchy Leap again. It's pretty sore, despite oodles of TLC and the backpack being switched to the left side to give the right a rest.
It's not a pulled muscle, and it's nothing new. This has happened before. I had troubles with it all the way through Italy, culminating in near-screams in Rome and making my sleep on a cold tile floor at Heathrow a trial. It yowled, complained, and bitched all last summer until a physical therapist worked out the massive muscle knot that had been sitting there for six months (I recall watching the Vice Presidential Debates with my shoulder against a heating pad.)
It went away and started being just my shoulder again...until around Sunday of this week.
What's got me worried is the heat coming off of the shoulder when I compare it with the left-a sure sign of inflammation in the joint. I'm not usually a good judge of "is this warmer than the other one?" check on my own, but even stupid me can tell when the left one is normal and the right one is hot as Hades. And the constriction that the swelling puts on the arm below it usually makes my elbow joint and fingers swell along with it.
I really, really hope it's not the arthritis coming around for another swing. I'm not going to be around my rheumatologist much longer, but as I don't know where I will be in two or three months, well, let's just everything is kind of screwy with my future and I don't need puffy angry red joints to join into the mess right now.
Besides that, not much else going on. This is kind of consuming my mind at the moment.
Ta,
Bec
It's not a pulled muscle, and it's nothing new. This has happened before. I had troubles with it all the way through Italy, culminating in near-screams in Rome and making my sleep on a cold tile floor at Heathrow a trial. It yowled, complained, and bitched all last summer until a physical therapist worked out the massive muscle knot that had been sitting there for six months (I recall watching the Vice Presidential Debates with my shoulder against a heating pad.)
It went away and started being just my shoulder again...until around Sunday of this week.
What's got me worried is the heat coming off of the shoulder when I compare it with the left-a sure sign of inflammation in the joint. I'm not usually a good judge of "is this warmer than the other one?" check on my own, but even stupid me can tell when the left one is normal and the right one is hot as Hades. And the constriction that the swelling puts on the arm below it usually makes my elbow joint and fingers swell along with it.
I really, really hope it's not the arthritis coming around for another swing. I'm not going to be around my rheumatologist much longer, but as I don't know where I will be in two or three months, well, let's just everything is kind of screwy with my future and I don't need puffy angry red joints to join into the mess right now.
Besides that, not much else going on. This is kind of consuming my mind at the moment.
Ta,
Bec
1.4.09
My Apologies
New with Me:
1. My cast is off. My wrist has 4 scars; three little round ones and a long nasty one down the far side of my wrist.
1B. This means I can see my tattoo again.
2. I have my Internet back on the computer (don't ask why I lost it)
3. My grandmother died, but don't worry. If my uncles start arguing with my aunt tomorrow, my mother has assured me they'll be joining Grandma. And Mom has threatened to help Aunt Nancy do it, too.
4. My crazy hypochondriac grandmother is still alive, however, and is now having breathing difficulties. If they put a face mask on her, will she shut up? No one knows...
5. Six weeks to graduation. This means work for me. I have a new poetry book set up and ready for printing (all I need is paper, and I think I'll snitch some from home when I'm there next week. No need to pay for the stuff).
6. I'm finally sleeping through the night again. There were a couple of weeks where I wasn't in there.
7. Have met my first real celebrity (Neil Gaiman), only to find out that most people have no earthly idea what I'm talking about (includes him, his work, or they stare at me blankly when I mention the Coraline movie.) Does ANYONE watch news? Read a newspaper? HAVE KIDS? GO TO A MOVIE? Sheesh.
8. But he was awesome. Told me to keep working on things. If school would get out of the way and let me, most certainly will, Mr. Gaiman.
9. Didn't get into Master's school so I'm trying to sort out where the hell my life is going now. Details to follow when I have a plan.
So, busy busy busy. Lots to do in six weeks.
1. My cast is off. My wrist has 4 scars; three little round ones and a long nasty one down the far side of my wrist.
1B. This means I can see my tattoo again.
2. I have my Internet back on the computer (don't ask why I lost it)
3. My grandmother died, but don't worry. If my uncles start arguing with my aunt tomorrow, my mother has assured me they'll be joining Grandma. And Mom has threatened to help Aunt Nancy do it, too.
4. My crazy hypochondriac grandmother is still alive, however, and is now having breathing difficulties. If they put a face mask on her, will she shut up? No one knows...
5. Six weeks to graduation. This means work for me. I have a new poetry book set up and ready for printing (all I need is paper, and I think I'll snitch some from home when I'm there next week. No need to pay for the stuff).
6. I'm finally sleeping through the night again. There were a couple of weeks where I wasn't in there.
7. Have met my first real celebrity (Neil Gaiman), only to find out that most people have no earthly idea what I'm talking about (includes him, his work, or they stare at me blankly when I mention the Coraline movie.) Does ANYONE watch news? Read a newspaper? HAVE KIDS? GO TO A MOVIE? Sheesh.
8. But he was awesome. Told me to keep working on things. If school would get out of the way and let me, most certainly will, Mr. Gaiman.
9. Didn't get into Master's school so I'm trying to sort out where the hell my life is going now. Details to follow when I have a plan.
So, busy busy busy. Lots to do in six weeks.
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