Sorry I haven't written for over a month. Nothing has really changed. I'm waiting for it to, and trying to affect change. We'll see if my efforts pay off. I won't know for awhile.
I've been working (too much), writing (not enough), and being miserable (trying not to sink into the pit is hard when it looks so darn inviting.)
I guess you could say I'm in a near-permanent state of depression (yay for a spike in my fibro to go with it, like a side of potatoes with ham. Joyous.)
Something's gotta give, here, before I start going gray, mad, or both.
I'm writing some poems-nothing good, nothing groundbreaking, nothing astounding. It's all "woe is me" stuff and I wish I could write something happy, but I guess I am just not capable of it right now.
I bite my lip and say I'm slogging, but really I'm plodding through every minute hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel, only to find the person with the light has moved down the tunnel another mile and a half.
Oh, metaphor. You are a reliable and descriptive friend.
I need a breakthrough, and I need it soon. I can't just keep going like this without some glimmer of hope that things are going to change, or I'll do something stupid and drastic (base jumping, eating puffer fish, learn to drive...)
Sigh.
So that's that. Thank you for reading my whining (again.)
Ta,
Bec
