I Am Done

Got rejected for three jobs in the last two days, including two that I actually had a snowball's chance in hell with.

I am upset and under stress and was trying desperately to keep myself together this morning. I had the roller to the wall and was ready to start painting, when my sister screamed at me that she wasn't finished painting the first coat of paint on and there I was putting on the second.

I wasn't there yesterday and didn't know this. She didn't have any right to treat me like that (and this isn't the first time she's treated me like her slave/underling while we're on this project.)

Normally, I would have swallowed my pride and done the painting, but today was apparently a bad day to set me off, and for some reason about two minutes later, I started crying and couldn't stop. There I was, throwing paint on a brick wall, and the tears were rolling down my face.

It took me twenty minutes to calm down. I do not cry like this, not more than a couple times a year at most. I don't get to the point where I am crying and can't stop. Obviously I'm in a pretty upset state and Anna's abominable behavior towards me was the last straw.

By the time I'd gotten my tears under control, Kate had arrived and she wanted to reorganize the library-much more to my liking and not by my mean, nasty, tear-inducing sister. So that's what I did the rest of the day, and what I'll do tomorrow...and then I won't do anymore.

I want to volunteer, I do, but Anna's attitude is difficult if nigh impossible to be in the same room with. I can't even ask a question without feeling like a ball of slime under her shoe. I shouldn't have to feel like this and I won't. She can paint the whole building by herself. I'm done. I have enough to do at home anyway.