Five Reasons Why My Fingers Have Been Quiet

So the reason I haven't been talking lately is because I'm

A) Not sleeping well and it's making me testy

B) Up in arms and socks about my near-future and don't know which direction I'm headed in

C) Can't talk full sentences because of the tired thing (it's similar to the problem someone who's had a stroke has: the word is there, the idea is there, but I just CAN NOT get it out of my brain and down to my tongue. Or I say something but it's backwards. Or I say the wrong word in place of what I really want to say.) One time I was trying to say "cabinet" to a friend of mine, and was pointing at the object in question but unable to come up with the word that fit it. She got it for me.

This is terribly, awfully embarrassing, I sound like a total idiot, and I do it more when I'm nervous, tired, anxious, stressed, or sometimes when I'm just nothing at all. So I've been avoiding regular people because of it. I humiliate myself often enough so I don't think I need to have more of it.

AND, LASTLY BUT NOT LEASTLY!

D) The cookbook is actually waiting on one little detail I didn't consider-that there are actual cookbooks out THERE with the information I WANT, but where I don't have to DO IT MYSELF. So I'm waiting on my Betty Crocker 1950 facsimile edition to get here and then, joy of joys, I can delete all the recipes I no longer have a need for because I'll have a BOOK with them IN IT.

E) I had to hang out with my relatives for 6 HOURS this week. Enough. Said. Hell for me is hanging out with my family and doing math problems.

Ta,
Bec