Spritey's Having A Bad Day Today

So far, Sprite the god (sorry, meant dog!) has:

Gotten a car ride (okay, that was a highlight)

Taken to the vet

Got a thermometer shoved in a VERY personal region

Given a treat (okay, that was a highlight, too. A very big highlight)

Not given a second treat (that was a downer)

Got fur shaved off her frock

Got stabbed with a DOZEN needles (and did a good bit of yowling at the vets while dealing with the pain)

Got her old collar taken off because it was too tight (and she was promptly insulted by the owner of this blog who said it was because she had a fat neck)

Got insulted again when her owners were told her teeth were bad and that she had love handles. Which would mean less biscuits. This is a tragedy she wishes could have been avoided.

Got freaked out by this funny running water bowl thing

Didn't get another treat when she should have gotten one. She SHOULD have.

Got another car ride home ('nother highlight. But a small one, really, when compared to the TORTURE she underwent after arriving home.)

Got BATHED by two of those HUMANS of hers. With soap and water. Soaked clean through to the skin. Ridiculous!

Got BRUSHED.

And she didn't get to go outside when she wanted because the two humans from before wanted to keep her out of the mud long enough so that Mum could see her clean for once.

She wanted me to tell you all this just so you know how TERRIBLY ABUSED she is (the little liar), and that she's looking for a family of complete and utter suckers that will take her cute little arrogant gluttonous narcissistic self in, provided they keep her away from 1) Vets with needles 2) baths 3) brushes but that they let her have as much 1) food 2) space 3) food 4) and mud to lie in as she wants.

(By the way, despite what Sprite says, she ain't leaving this family or going anywhere.)

Ta,
Bec