New (ish) Poem

I have finished a new poem, but I need an opinion on it and I'm hoping that my small audience of blog readers can maybe tell me what to do (or at least give me some advice.)

(No title yet-working on that, too)

River swallowed my brother down
And the rapids tumbled sad
River swallowed my father down
And the whirlpools sang a dirge
Tumbled over and over in a rolling
Rolling endless time

I will not go down into the river
I will stay on the shore
Vowing time can grasp at me
But take my heart no more

River swallowed my brother down
And the ripples mourned in quiet
River swallowed my father down
And the deeps sang for his soul
A song that roared and foamed in a rolling
Rolling endless time

I will not go down to the water's edge
I will stay far back on the shore
Knowing its icy fingers can grasp
But take my heart no more.


I am not totally sure WHERE this poem came from, seeing as I don't make a habit of writing African-American spirituals/poems LIKE African-American spirituals, but Mum thinks I should write the whole shebang out with dialect added. My problem is I'm afraid of insulting people because well, I have not one drop of African-American blood in my veins.

So my question is: Should I, as a Caucasian girl who just happened to be in the moment and write something that resembles a spiritual, do I have the right to use dialect in writing this down?

4 days to go till Who premiere. Going...let's just leave it at bonkers. My Facebook status says that the week's getting longer the longer it goes (which makes no sense, but whatever...)

Story's going well. I'm about ready to do some writing right now.

Damn, whatever that guy's eating on TV sure looks good. Now I want something with deli meat and tomatoes and really good bread (we have none of those things here, so I guess I'll have to endure.)

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Poetimistic

I just joined this website on a lark. We'll see how long I stay around. Feel free to ask me anything-I have opened the questions up to anyone and everyone.

Ta,
Bec

Ta,
Bec